Due to some of my most favorite people that ever walked the face of this planet...the presidents...I had the day off on Monday...I salute President's Day!! Most things amazing take place on days off, usually there is a considerable lack of motivation, other than to do NOTHING and enjoy of a day of NOTHING!! However, I lapsed, I lost that loving NOTHING feeling, and embarked on a difficult journey of blood, sweat, and tears...dewallpapering the dinning room! It seemed like a good idea at the time, the wallpaper was already coming off in some places, so I figured, compared to the kitchen, the dining room should be a piece of cake!! hmmmmm...does this look like a piece of cake?? YEAH, I THINK NOT! I have never dewallpapered a wall that is made of plaster, painted, wallpapered, and then wallpapered AGAIN...only to get 10 mins into it and realize EXACTLY why they wallpapered in the first place...can we say gashes and cracks?!?! After the steamer ran out of water the second time I quit for the day. I needed time to brainstorm ways of breaking the news to Ben of my (what never should have happened on such a glorious holiday as President's Day) unexpected "Day Off Motivation." Tears welling up in my eyes I cleaned up the area, and came to the decision to NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING! I mean if he stumbles onto the wall himself, than that has to be his own fault, he just shouldn't have looked in the first place...yep that seemed like a SOLID idea! I left the house and went to pick Ben up from work (because, did I mention, we are a ONE car family!! and believe me this has NOTHING to the GREEN revolution!!) and then we were off to our Monday night small group meeting. No stops by home, no problems...yet! It was at this fellowship of believers that a sister in Christ (whom I had had lunch with earlier in the day, just after the dewallpapering incident, and in whom I had confided my blunders) spurted forth from her mouth, "Did the dewallpapering go better after lunch?" WHAT...WHAT ARE YOU SAYING....WHAT IS THIS YOU SPEAK OF...DEWALLPAPERING?!?! There was no saving this, he was clued in, I had to revert to plan B: play up the horrifying appearance of the wall, the cracks from FLOOR to CEILING 13 inches wide, and the gashes big enough to stick your head into...in a desperate attempt to make it worse than it was, and lessen the blow! When we got home there was a mad dash for the dinning room and its (Praise the Lord) dim lighting, Ben's comment was "Oh that's not as bad as I thought." Plan B: SOLID!! The story does not end there...Friday night, Ben was at church for a teaching, and I was at home dewallpapering. I had just started on my second wall, and the top layer of this stuff was coming off in SHEETS. So there I was grasping the end of what, had the potential to be the LARGEST/LONGEST strip of wallpaper ever to torn from plastered wall, and about to pull off a classy spin move...when the (what I always thought was disconnected) emergency button planted 2.5 feet off the floor, in the shape of a doorbell, but with the word in red and all caps EMERGENCY on it, came forth from the wall resulting in an ear piecing shrill and subsequent and constant sounding of an alarm.
Next thought..."plan A or B...what...I have NO plan for this!!" So ran over to the closet that has the speaker phone thing in it and began smacking at it, which only changed the pitch of the alarm!! So then I called Ben in all of my shame and explained to him what I done, with sound effects!! He was then attempting to hitch a ride home, because, have I mentioned we are a one car family... I then made my way down to the THREE, yes count them three breaker boxes and, being the visionary that I am, grabbed hold of the first switch I saw, flipped it, and the alarm silenced. Then I had myself a good laugh... and waited for Ben to get home. When he arrived he asked me if the alarm was sounding outside as well. Huh, outside, I didn't know it was outside?! Then in a true scientific manor I turned the alarm back on, with a flip of the switch, and Ben opened the back door...YEP there is a large siren on the roof and a speaker in the backyard...both walling!! Next, thought...WHAT KIND OF NEIGHBORS DO WE HAVE...I COULD HAVE DIED!!! In an attempt to punish them (he is my hero), Ben spent the rest of the evening and early morning, turning the alarm on and off repeatedly to try and figure out how it works so that maybe we could use the system that we once thought was disconnected! He succedded!
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