As of late, I have been trying to “cool-it”—trying to slow
down—to drink my coffee with two hands. I’m trying to sit and soak it all up
because these two little ones, well, they won’t always be this little, and say
such cute things, and cuddle me for no reason but to just be close to me. Not
sure how successful I have been at this “two-handed coffee drinking challenge,”
but as with a few things in life there is success in the trying.
As I sit here snuggled under an old quilt that I wish I made,
but seriously—I ain’t got time for that—I once again find myself reflecting,
reflecting on this one day, 5 years ago, when this girl I know showed up in my
life and made all things sing, and sparkle, and magical. I’m not gonna lie, I
kind of went into this whole parenting thing much like I do most things in
life. The thought occurred to me, “seems cool, I bet I could that. Yeah, lets
have a kid and see how that goes. I prefer to run my life with the motto that
“over-thinking kills magic.” And lets just be real honest, my girl has lots of
magics!
Five years later, I still think this whole parenting thing
is cool, and I still bet (most days) that I can do this. So far, so good. This
little girl made me a mom… magic! She has magics that she knows about and uses
to their fullest powers and she has magics that she has yet to realize. For a
while now, I have felt compelled to record some of the magic that Mary Alice
Kunz has taught me these last five years:
“Until further
notice… celebrate everything!” This girl loves a party! She seeks out
reasons to be with people, reasons to have ice cream, reasons dress up, reasons
to try something new. At times, that is a birthday party, or a holiday, or the
summer solstice, or Tuesday. It doesn’t matter the reason she just wants to do
life with people and with as many people as she can because people are special
and people are reason enough to celebrate EVERYTHING! Magic!
“Persistence and
humor can get you what you want.” Now hear me out, I am by no means a fan of
“Mama, Mama, Mom, Mom, Mom…MOM!” This is not magic, this is annoying. No. Girlfriend
plays this same game, but with a magical twist. Last night was a good example: brother and sister were having an argument
about who was going to sleep in the basement with their cousin.
Sy: “Mimi, I’m going
to sleep in the basement this night.”
Mimi: “Oh no you’re
not, I am!”
Sy: “Nope, I am.”
(continue the back and
forth)
Mimi: “Alright Buddy.
The one that gets to sleep in the basement is the one that is sitting with the
pinwheel pointing at them, who is sitting right here, and so… oh its me! (delivered with the tone of one that is
shocked)
Persistence and humor = magic!
P.S. She slept in the basement.
“Feel your feelings.”
Though the thing that currently has this girl in hysterics may not seem
like a big deal to me, the adult, it doesn’t mean that this is not a world
crushing, magic stealing moment for my baby. I need to treat it as such more
often… for fear that she may loose some of her magics, of course. I am by no
means advocating that she ONLY feels her feelings. No, logic + feelings will
take her very far. What I am saying is that neither is more or less important,
they are a “both/and” situation. A well-rounded person can both think and feel.
Thinking keeps feeling in check and vice versa. I just don’t want my girl to
ever “learn” to just “stuff her feelings.” Feelings are important and they are
important to understand. It is important to understand the motive behind our
feelings. Right now, at five years old, it may seem like the only motive behind
the hysterical outburst is that I gave her the blue bowl and not the green one.
But really, blue may be her favorite color today, and blue may be the color
that makes her feel special today or even magic, and so it is my job as her
mama to teach her how to express her feelings in appropriate ways. I want her
feel her feelings, to know when she feels special and what things make her feel
special. I want for her to know how to
communicate those things because I believe that by knowing her own feelings and
the motives behind them, she will be able to recognize the same feelings in
others and know how to handle them with care. Magic!
“She sings off-key,
but with great spirit.” Yep, that’s her! To. A. Tee! Mary Alice’s life is a
running musical. She narrates most of her actions to song. Original scores, of
course. Unfortunately, her most frequent duets are done with yours truly; so her
pitch is off, like way off, all the time, way off. You’re welcome, world!
Though at five years old she still has the magic of “great spirit.” She doesn’t
realize yet that there is a flaw to her singing, its just fun, and happy, and
makes those around her smile. Making
people laugh and smile is one of her favorite things to do and one of my
favorite things about her. She is just
plum funny and intense, intensely funny, spirited… yeah we’ll call it spirited.
She has joy and passion about… everything. The other day I was putting her to
bed and she says to me, “Mama, do you remember when I woke up and there were
balloons in my room, and I just jumped out of bed, and ran, and turned on my
light, and just ran back to my bed and jumped for great joy!?” “I remember
something about that.” “Yeah, we should do that again sometime!” Great spirit
or magic?
 |
| Mimi, "The Girl on Fire" |
“She had a lively,
playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous.” Perhaps it’s
the idea that all we should have for dinner is “chips and candy.” Wait, that
may not be ridiculous, this may have, or needs to happen! I’m on the fence with
this one… pressing on. An abbreviated list of ridiculous that Mary Alice
delights in: carb loading at every meal, wearing pink and red together, reading
past her bedtime (when she doesn’t even know how to read), sugar on/in
everything, laughing at jokes she doesn’t understand, working the word “poop”
into most conversations and laughing uncontrollably when she does, watching the
same movie over, and over, and over until she has every single word memorized (this
one goes for books as well), taking 1.5 hours (on average) to eat dinner,
squirrels, singing under the covers, changing the subject to compliments
whenever she is in any sort of trouble, “burtending” that the beach towel she
has wrapped around her neck is “a cape like Elsa’s”… the list could go on and
on… MAGIC!
“I don’t know what
lies around the bend, but I’m going to believe that the best does.” She
loves to know things just to know them. But, just because she doesn’t know or
understand something doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to be awesome! “This is
the best book ever!” Stated before she has read the book. “This is the best
movie ever!” Stated before she has watched the movie. “Mama, you’re the best
singer ever!” Wait, no, wait a second, she has heard me sing and still believes
this… because she’s MAGIC! She believes in her core that this world is all
rainbows, unicorns, summer, and winter snowfalls. And who am I burst that
bubble? Oh no, this is one of her greatest magics! I mean, seriously, can you
do this… for real?
 |
So in the last five years, we, as a family, have become
increasing more silly. We have lots of tickle fights. We jump on the beds, the
couch, the piles of dirty clothes. We make things and gush over them. We smile
at the world. We introduce ourselves to everyone we meet. We love people and try
hard to make them feel special… we show off our magics because who doesn’t like
magic anyway?!?
“She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos, and you can see it in her
eyes.”
“She is delightfully chaotic; a beautiful mess. Loving her
is a splendid adventure.”
I want to be just like her when I grow up!
