REALLY?!?

All I wanted to do was check the mail. I walked out the front door and slammed the screen door closed behind me, because Moses was charging to get out on the porch. As I slowly descended the stairs to the mailbox I had this sinking feeling that "slamming" the door closed may have been a poor choice. Indeed it was. As I attempted to open the door to go back inside it was LOCKED! There I was barefoot and with limited clothing on, walking through our acorn filled grass to the back door, all the while praying that Ben did NOT lock the back door when he left. Shock of my life, Ben made sure he covered ALL his bases and LOCKED the door! What to do, both kids ALONE inside and me outside.
The neighbor just happened to be sitting on his curb outside (still not quite sure why) and there I was bare foot with limited clothing on walking across the boulevard asking my neighbor to barrow his phone. I ended up having to use his spare, "pay as you go" phone. He made sure to back as far away from me as I made my call. People driving by could have gotten any number of different ideas as to what was taking place, based on my attire...or lack there of...he kept a safe distance!
I called Ben to thank him for being so thorough in his exit strategies and to get a solution to my predicament. After arguing with me about whether or not the front door was locked (HELLO, I am confident in my ability to determine if a door is locked or not based on my ability to enter it or not!!...WHO argues that with ME...REALLY!!) his solution was the chance that the living room window was not locked shut.
So I thanked the neighbor, apologized for using his "pay as you go" phone, and took my scantly clad self back across the acorn covered ground to the other side of the house to the living room window, only to find that was a DISTANCE above my head! Hmmm...what to do...I got the screen undone but was having difficulty getting the window pried up. Again, with my bare feet I found myself in the back yard carrying a chair back to the "is it really that high off the ground" window. Through some act of God I got my fingers under the window and the window open. At this point even standing on the chair I am perplexed as to how the window can be that far off the ground and how it is that I am going to get my "four weeks post pregnancy" self through that window. With limited thought/planning I put my hands on the uneven window with all the tracks for every screen/storm window...I don't even know...but it hurt.
At this point I am STUCK part way in and part way out! My feet at this point are off the chair and dangling in the air, my arms are half bent in the push up position. Thoughts running through my head are "SO this is why they make you do push-up in gym class...for moments such as these!" and then "I should really be doing more push-ups!" Somewhere, somehow I found some unknown strength to straighten my arms and get myself all the way to the couch, without even landing on sleeping Silas!!
All was still quiet in the house and so I did what any true Momma-bear would do after saving her cubs from a potentially dangerous situation...I went to the frig and found myself a diet coke!! It is for moments like these that one ALWAYS keeps a chilled diet coke in the frig!!
Fear not Silas slept through the whole thing and Mary Alice was strapped in her high chair. Only two pieces of food on the ground and only a minimal amount of spilled milk!
After all this the mail had NOT even come yet, the mailman delivered it approximately 30 seconds after my ascent of the window!